End of the 10th Week

Today I was doing some random to-dos, which included looking into scheduling our first ultrasound and signing up for a childbirth class. I looked at our google calendar where we are keeping all baby-related dates and I found myself staring at tomorrow, because it marks the start of the 11th week. And then I was crying.

Terry came over to hug me and all I could say was "Only two more weeks and then the baby will stay." Because after the end of the 12th week, the risk of miscarriage (which is 1 in 5 before) drops off dramatically. And until that moment I dont think I had really emotionally admitted to myself how scared I was of miscarrying. "I want the baby to stay" I say again, muffled into Terry's shoulder. And because I am the emotional one, and he is the wonderful, gentle, even-tempered one, he tells me calmly, "I think the baby will stay."

Even still, I will be glad to pass that 12th week and coast into the second trimester.

For starters, no one told me how soon the impacts of pregnancy affect you. Even before I officially knew I was pregnant from any test, I was already going to pee about twice as often. And it was a mystery to me, because nobody told me that as early as week 2 you can start to feel tired, overly emotional, or that you'll have to pee all the time because your kidneys are working overtime to clear out toxins. I found myself needing an afternoon nap as early as the 6th week, which just seemed intellectually ridiculous. I didn't look pregnant, but apparently it wasn't too early to feel the affects of pregnancy. Some of the downsides of first trimester pregnancy are supposed to subside into the second trimester as the body acclimates to the new hormone levels. Better still, I will be glad (or so I think anticipating it) to move forward into the second trimester when exciting pregnant things start: like feeling the baby move. Or seeing the baby on the ultrasound. And knowing that we are past that fragile first trimester when all the vital systems are forming and so so many things can go horribly wrong. I had already started worrying like a parent even before the baby graduated from "embryo" to "fetus."

But then again, I can't really knock the first trimester so far. Having heard so many horror stories about women (my mother and mother-in-law included) who were horribly sick all the time, I am very thankful that I have been so lucky. I haven't had more than a quickly passing hint at nausea, lasting a few seconds before it is gone and rarely happening more than once or twice a week. So I never really had even one time where I thought "uh oh, I'm going to puke."

Unlike the stories of women who are so sick they have no appetite at all, I don't have that problem. In fact, I have discovered that within the last two weeks or so that I pretty much have to eat every 2 hours or so. I get the rumbly tummy and I have to answer the call with a small but substantial snack. If I eat lots of small regular meals then I can even stave off those small hints of malaise.

People seem curious about cravings, so I'm about to let lose on the list of things I've been loving to eat. But I'm also wondering if the term "craving" isn't just a sort of different term for "want" that seems to have the patina of legitimacy on it. But don't tell Terry. Cravings are scoring me lots of tasty Asian food.

Food Cravings:

• Thai Food (especially vegetable Pad See-Ew)
• Chinese Food (especially chicken with vegetables and egg rolls)
• Indian Food (especially chicken tikka masala and palak paneer)
• Cheese sandwiches or grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato bisque

Are you noticing an Asian food trend? Terry picked up on it early and teases me often about how my idea of giving him a 'break' from eating all that Thai food is when I suggest "well, how about Chinese?" And really, I'll pretty much eat anything Indian.

Favorite snacks:

• Granny Smith apples with peanut butter and raisins
• Hummus with pretzels
• Grapes, nectarines or grapefruits
• Cottage cheese with peaches
• Robyn (my sister)'s Dilly beans
• Onion bagels and cream cheese
• Split pea soup

Things that sound terrible to me right now:

• Salad
• Steak
• All kinds of Mexican food