Learning Life Skills

I have wanted to be more disciplined about posting something on the 30th of each month to reflect on all the new preferences and skills and personality traits that Liam has developed in that month of his life, but sometimes little moments are so fantastic, that I just have to write about them when they happen. It isnt even something bit or momentous this time. It is just a hundred little ways that he is becoming his own independent person.

For a while he has been demonstrating a desire to put things around his neck. At Miss Ariana's house there is a large wooden bead necklace that he is frequently wearing when we come to pick him up. He also loves to put goggles around his neck and let them hang there like a necklace. Sometimes he tries to put my sunglasses around his neck and then looks all confused and perturbed when they don't actually hang around his neck.

This morning he was doing the usual "around my neck" motion with a sock he picked up off the top of his dresser. So I took his t-shirt for the day and opened the bottom up so he could hold it in his hands, and sure enough, he put the shirt on and got it down around his head. Then he took it off. Then back on. Then off.

The Montessori book I had read emphasized that children learn meaningful tasks for the pleasure of doing them, not the pragmatic end result (getting the shirt on). That they repeat cycles of activity as a means of building up competency. And there he was doing it in front of my very eyes. He needed a little help for me to position the arm holes for him to (eventually) get the whole shirt on. But he could do it 80% by himself.

It also emphasized for me how much I think Montessori is right on in allowing children to move at their own pace, but also recognizing that it may mean that kids are ready for a real life skill way before current experts think they are. Liam can competently use a small fork all by himself to eat an entire banana, or any other food that is cubed and soft enough to pierce with the fork tines. Our Early Intervention Teacher tells us that is usually considered a skill for 2 year olds and higher. But he was actually able to use a fork the very first time we ever gave him one (around 13.5 months). Montessori lists "setting the table" as a skill for a 16-18 month old, whereas my Parents magazine suggests it is for a six YEAR old. Likewise, our teacher was impressed with how long he was able to concentrate on a skill. We were working with her music box yesterday trying to get Liam to be more precise in his signing of "more" and he worked consistently without getting distracted or wandering off for about 12 minutes. The teacher said she usually considers 2-4 minutes a victory. I've seen him work at the same task over and over for almost 20 minutes if he gets really absorbed by it.

I think it is fantastic, and it encourages me to stay back sometimes, not to hover over him and be constantly ready to provide parental entertainment and assistance, but to allow him to experience his environment and to figure it out for himself when he encounters a challenge.

Right now, what prompted me to write, is the sweet and consistent concentration he is giving to his shoes. While Grandma and Pops McDonnell were in town we went shopping and they bought Liam a nice pair of summer sandals with velcro. For the last ten minutes he has been patiently sitting on the floor undoing and redoing the velcro straps. Occasionally he will take a break from the straps and hold the shoe up to his feet as though he's trying to put it on. Once I also saw him set the shoe on the floor in front of him, get up onto his feet and then very carefully step his foot on top of the shoe. He will also sometimes try to step into my shoes or terry's shoes if they are left out where he can find them. Of course the shoe didn't magically afix itself to his foot, but that's some good thinking buddy!