Playgroup and the evolving social self...

I realize that what I write in retrospect about events is so much more basic than the narrative that runs in my head as things are actually happening, or immediately afterwards. And that is a shame. Sometimes it is nice to capture the actual rich texture, complete with minor details, even if it means posting without pictures, or writing about the minute elements of life.

And so it was with this week's playgroup. The MOMs Club that I am in is VERY active. They have an event nearly every day of the week, including weekly playgroups that meet based on birth year (so we're in the 2009 group). This week the playgroup was hosted by Katie, mama to Rowan who was also born in January of 2009. We haven't seen Katie and Rowan for months, so it was a reunion of sorts for the boys, who suddenly found themselves much more in possession of little personalities and better able to move around than last time. And suddenly they were thick as thieves.

When we walked in Rowan was sitting in the middle of a 3 foot by 3 foot inflatable square pool (no water though), happy as a clam to be climbing in and out of it. And just like that Liam charged over, all smiles and squeals of glee. He leaned on the soft inflated side of the pool along with Benjamin (who is younger, maybe 8 months?). And though they were just babies, it had the feel of young boys playing king of the mountain.

For a while Liam and Rowan sort of chased each other around the room. I would not have said that Liam usually plays with other babies, and the books all say that truly collaborative play doesn't really happen until they are much older. But it was obvious that the boys were really checking each other out. At one point, for about three or five minutes, they just sat very close to each other and sort of gently poked and prodded one another in turn. Liam would press his index finger gently into Rowan's cheek. Rowan patted Liam's hair, and then Liam patted Rowan's hair. Tapping each other on the shoulder, pulling at each other's shirt.

Both boys are exceedingly well tempered kiddos quick with a giggle or a smile. So much so that another one of the mamas who has a younger son commented that she hoped her kiddo grew up to be as happy as those two.

At one point the two boys took to crawling through the long soft tunnel in the middle of the room. For a while they went in circles politely treating the tunnel like a one-way street. But then at some point both boys started down the tunnel at the same time from opposite directions. About a quarter of the way in, they both seemed to realize it. They stopped crawling and erupted into squeals of laughter. Then they apparently decided to charge, because from the outside as we watched the tunnel suddenly looked like a large blue worm with the hiccups as both boys plodded towards the center laughing like crazy. I can't even say for certain what happened when they met in the middle (was it like a particle collider? did they start a black hole?) but the soft blue tunnel roiled, and there was laughter, and little baby knees and elbows occasionally dimpled the fabric. And in the end two happy babies came back out.

It was really the first moment of observing Liam as an increasingly social human being. Before this playgroup I had only really ever seen him engage in play with Cora. He plays often with Cora, his number one gal pal. And clearly they like each other and move to greet one another when he gets to her house. But when he is there it is just the two babies and they play together even though they have very different styles. He is boisterous and physical, eager to muscle around and over things. She is a bit more intentional and cerebral and delicate. Liam is glad to squish and pound his food just to see how it will splat. Cora can eat an entire meal without needing a bib because she can eat so delicately. When I have seen them play together, it seems often that they are drawn together around an object of play (often this script takes the form of "Oh you are playing with that and therefore I think that looks really interesting...hmmm....give me that...[grab]").

When I saw him chasing around with Rowan, it seemed more like Rowan was the object of play.

A similar thing happened today when we went to Monkey Joes today. The MOMs Club has an outing monthly or so, at least during the cold winter months. It is sort of like a Chucky Cheeses geared towards kids mostly under 6, but it is entirely filled with those giant inflated castles and slides and jumping rooms. I wasnt sure how Liam would fare, but ecstacy is putting it too mildly.

He was in heaven. His first lap around the simple inflated jumping room was tentative, but once he got the hang of crawling up and over the scalloped floor, and discovered he could bounce around a little, there was no stopping him. But one of his favorite things was chasing around the older boys. We spent some time in a large inflated castle type thing, and at one point a group of three and four year old boys came in. Liam's face just lit up. As the group of three boys tussled and ran around, Liam squealed and crawled after them, looking for all the world like he fully intended to be involved in their play. Once the boys fell down in a heap as they slipped over the scalloped floor and Liam redoubled his crawling speed so he could plow into the heap as well. I suppose as a sociologist I shouldn't say this, but I am floored at what a little man's man he is already. I will write more about the Monkey Joe's experience when I post pictures.

Independent Standing

The week before my 30th birthday Liam began standing independently. He wouldn't push himself up from the ground, but if he pulled up on something he could then let go and stand for a few seconds. Terry and I would make a game out of it, setting him up and then letting him stand and balance by himself. Sometimes we'll count out loud how long he's been standing. And whenever he decides he's done we clap for him.

During my birthday weekend he set a record, standing by himself for thirty seconds before he got down!

Just after his first birthday he seemed to start boycotting independent standing. When I would try to set him up and let him go he would lean heavily back into me, so that he was almost horizontal and if I took my hands off his back he'd flop over unceremoniously. This boycott went on for about a week. During that time, the only times I saw him stand independently would be when he was leaning against the coffee table and wanted to pick something up with both his hands. Without really realizing he was doing it, then he'd be standing a bit apart from the table intently examining whatever had caught his fancy. Soon he'd realize he was standing, and very cautiously he would slowly squat down to a kneeling position. But in the past few days he has started independent standing again, and seems like he may be ready to take some dramatic first steps (perhaps more like stuntman dives) soon.

Here's an video of Liam's early standing efforts.

Liam's First Birthday

Grandma Schultz came into town for Liam's first birthday, but she just barely made it, because even as I drove to the airport to pick her up, the flurries had begun. Nashville doesn't usually get much snow, so the city more or less shuts down when it gets even an inch. But the weekend of Liam's first birthday we got SIX INCHES! It kept us at home on Friday (ice + no salt = dangerous even for a chicago girl) so I didn't get to go out and get the birthday decorations I had wanted. No balloons, no streamers, no party hat for the birthday boy. I was feeling seriously bummed. I was committed to not going overboard for his birthday (ahem, no pony and clown etc). But still I had wanted to make it a fun and festive and memorable occasion. After all, a baby only turns one once.

And I knew also that the snow might mean that no one else would come. I thought our next door neighbors would brave the trek, but all of Liam's friends from playgroup seemed unlikely to come.

So it was with great happiness that I got a few emails that morning saying that some of his friends who lived nearby were going to brave the snow! In the end it wound up being a wonderful group of folks and just the right size that none of the babies got overwhelmed. Liam's gal pal Cora came with her mom Ariana. Dillon, a february girl from Liam's playgroup, came with her mom and dad. Quetzal Sol, a march baby from Liam's group, made the trip out with his mom and dad. There were babies crawling all over the place, chasing balloons, crawling under the coffee table and hiding out together, and shaking noisy toys. It was delightful.

Singing Happy Birthday (aka Flame Swallower)



Liam Eats Cake



Birthday boy with mom and dad


Eats cupcake


Liam LOVED the balloons. He chased them all over the house with glee.


Liam and Core play with Liam's new Leap Frog table

Shira comes to visit

The weekend before my birthday, my college roommate Shira flew out from L.A. to visit us in Nashville. It was the first time Shira got to meet Liam in person, and they had quite a nice little mutual love affair going. Every morning when he woke up Liam would tear out to the couch and pull himself up right next to her head and bob there until she picked him up. Baby tackles are our favorite alarm clock around here (as Terry often finds out).

Shira also started working with Liam on teaching him to use his rack a stack to actually put the rings on it instead of just tearing them off and then crawling away. At first she'd help him out by controlling the base so he got a little assistance when he tried to put the rings on. But by the end of her visit he could mostly do it on his own, and now weeks later I am proud to report he is quite a pro stacker. We are now working on him recognizing the order that the rings have to go on.

Time with Shira is always great and yet somehow always manages to exceed my expectations. We did a few tourist loops, walking around downtown Nashville dispite the cold weather, visiting a landmark or two, and even taking time to stop for Las Paletas. But mostly it was just all the fun easy good conversation. It is so nice to have friends that feel immediately like no time has passed since you last hung out. And Shira is definitely one of those people. Everyone loves Shira, and it is easy to see why, so I am very thankful to count her among my close friends.


So of course we all head to Las Paletas. Liam gets his first taste of mommy's cantaloupe popscicle, and promptly takes it over.


We all went to go see the Nashville Parthenon


This Nashville tourist attraction is the only full scale replica of the Italian landmark in the world


Liam really loves swinging at the park


It is especially fun when Miss Shira pushes me!

Family "Nap" Time

Early in the morning before Terry leaves for work, or sometimes on the weekends, one of us will just declare "family nap time" which is really more "family cuddle time" because the baby refuses to nap in our bed with us. And sometimes it is less "family cuddle time" and more "baby uses parents as jungle gym time" but it all takes place with all three of us (usually in our jammies) hanging out in our bed.



Liam loves hanging upside down. There's even a little song we sing about it. Fascinating lyrics: "He's upside down. He's a baby. He's an upside down baby"


I'm feeling wiley. I'm gonna make a break for it!


If I could just get over this edge...


Ya gotta help me! I'm trying to escape!
But they just keep pulling me back from the edge.

Meeting Baby Jane

Our friends Rachel and Kelly relocated for a few years to the south of France, where they live in a region most people just dream of visiting, near pebbled beaches and generally navigate the expat life and francophone culture. For our part, we just miss them. They are fun, interesting, wonderful people and we love the time we get to spend with their family. This year the weather conspired to keep us apart, grounding them in Nice so we missed them on the front end of our trip. But we were not to be thwarted! So on our way back from North Carolina, we stayed overnight with them in Evanston and got to spend some time. We got to see Alex, their preschooler, who has a mutual love affair with Terry. Every time someone came down the stairs in the morning he would run over with a look of pure joy on his face and shout "Terry!" and then his face would sort of fall and he'd mumble something suspiciously like "oh you" and then go back to the living room. Terry was the last one down in the morning, so I got to see this drama repeated several times.

We also got to introduce Liam to baby Jane, Rachel and Kelly's new daughter who arrived in June and so is only 5 months younger than Liam.


The kids somehow agreed that in a house full of toys, the iron planter was the most exciting thing

Christmas Day with the McDonnells

We did a mini-Christmas on the morning of Christmas Eve before Aunt Bri and Uncle Jesse left to fly back to New York.



Liam spent Christmas Day with Grandma and Pop McDonnell. It was a nice, quiet morning at home enjoying each other's company.



Liam opens some big lego blocks


Pop's chair is the best seat in the house


Checking out the fireplace, aka Santa watch


Sitting by the presents under the tree


Trying to learn how to work the jack in the box




The wrapping is almost as exciting as the presents!


Daddy says it is time for a nap, but I've got an iron grip on my present!


Playing with my new dinosaur foam puzzle


Opening a new book--a peekaboo book!--that months later is still my favorite


Showing off my new apron with Pop


In my awesome new personalized union jack jammies


Baby bowling!


I love the tupperware drawer, so I'm helpfully trying to rearrange it for Grandma