As a child I was sick every winter, like clockwork. I just assumed it was totally normal for every kid to get Strep throat and/or the flu every single winter season. I was in college before I discovered that wasn't really true. I don't know if I just have the world's wussiest immune system, or if my mom the nurse brought stuff home from work, or if it was a combination of the two. But I have really never been seriously puking sick since I went away to college.
But since being pregnant I have been sick twice. Now I know that this is nothing compared to women who endure terrible morning sickness for months. But it is still no fun. And both times have been precisely the same.
So fair warning, what follows is the play by play on being sick and getting better. Feel free to skip the rest of the post if this strikes you as weird or undesirable. I post it mostly because before I got pregnant I was under the impression that you got some super immune system action. It made all sorts of biological sense to me: what a great evolutionary adaptation. Keep moms from getting sick while pregnant. Turns out this is yet another one of those big fat lies. So I add "more likely to get sick" to the list of minor inconveniences of pregnancy, along with "hello indigestion" and "hello cavities."
So I have gotten sick in the same way twice since being pregnant. Here's how it goes:
Wake up at 5 AM puking brains out. Continue to puke every 45 minutes to an hour. Reach the stage where there is nothing left to puke and start the bargaining process. "Come on, I've got nothing left here. Can't we be done?" Discover how fun and exciting it is to heave nothing but stomach acid.
In between periods of active sickness, lay flopped over on bed in semi-comatose state.
Be instructed by OB that I have to hydrate. As directed, wait 1 hour after puking and then take tiny sips of water every 15 minnutes. Discover that even a teaspoon of water will provoke a new era of puking. Joyous.
Be instructed that I have to keep some form of liquid down, because if I go 8 hours without being able to keep liquids down, I have to go to the hospital to get IV fluids. Boo.
The first time I got this stomach virus was right when I entered by second trimester. The second time was yesterday (Saturday) during an epic snowstorm on the day I was supposed to travel to Racine to say goodbye to my half sister Bridgette, who is a reservist shipping out to Iraq. I was heartbroken to stay home.
And I felt even worse asking Terry to schlepp out into the crazy snowstorm to bring back gingerale, gatorade, and jello. Have I mentioned before that he is like the best husband ever?
At noon, finally able to keep down small sips of purple gatorade. Learn a new slavish product devotion to gatorade, which I was previously not a fan of, but which I can tolerate much better than water when sick.
I was desperately thirsty like a dying man crossing the Sahara. I watched the clock just waiting for time to pass so I could safely (and greedily) take another sip. Eventually felt good enough to go out to the couch and be amused by hulu.com and netflix in between naps.
Discovered what the body feels like when it is a car with no gas. It turns out that subsisting for a day on the 200 calories, hydration and miscellaneous stuff in one bottle of gatorade makes one feel pretty darn sluggish and out of it.
Today feeling much much better.
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