Day 1: NICU Parenting

So today is sort of the official first day of growing into our new roles as NICU parents. I slept fine last night, but not terribly well. Unlike the night before though, I did not wake up in the middle of the night weeping. So that was an improvement. But by 5:30 or 6 AM this morning it was useless to try to keep sleeping, so I got up and started packing up the things that I wanted to take with me for the first day of camping out in the NICU. I told Terry to keep sleeping, because at least one of us has to be well rested enough to think straight, and apparently it won't be me.

I just finished my cereal, and there is a nice little sunrise brewing over the lake outside my back window. It seems very hopeful.

Today they are doing some tests on the little guy to doublecheck and make sure that his heart is sound, that it doesnt have any little holes or issues that they need to treat with medicine.

He has four big tasks to work on: 1. His breathing (rate and blood oxygenation) 2. His heart (pulse, heart rate, blood pressure) 3. His body temperature (able to maintain it without heat lamp) 4. His feeding (digests all he's given, works his way up to 40mL at a feeding).

And so begins Day 1.

Update (9:11 AM) The trip down here was trying. There was something about walking in the early morning light in the cool Chicago weather that was sort of a walk of surrender. That dealing with this is much bigger than I am.

I cried on the NU shuttle bus today on the way downtown. it was totally silly, but the bus was full so I had to stand, and it just underscored for me that I wasn't pregnant any more, that no one would offer me a seat, even though I just gave birth two days ago, my stitches still hurt, and I was overwhelmed with wanting to see my baby and all the emotions that come from that, and there I was with tears streaming down my face on the darn bus. Sigh.

A very nice woman stood up and gave me her seat when she saw the tears on my face, and sheepishly I took it. I tried explaining to her that it was my first day going downtown to see my son in the NICU, but she didn't seem to mind the reason. It seems chivalry is not dead, at least among women.